Chaos

I am a girl who likes to have a plan. Without a plan I feel unmoored and out of control. This week was complete and utter chaos. It started out innocently enough with some margaritas on Monday. Fast-forward to today. It is Sunday, around 7pm and I have taken to my bed with a vodka and pineapple drink and Mary J. Blige in heavy rotation.

Knowing that I like order, I need to make sure that when I get up out of this bed, I have a plan of action. To that end, I am going to make a list of my goals for the week. Having goals in place will help me plan for my week. This week I am going to do the following:

1. Get more sleep- lately I've been slipping on that front and I can feel it.

2. Make sure I have a plan for dinner (in other words, either cook or have things prepped so I can throw a meal together and call it a day)

3. Get to the gym at least 3 times this week. I wasn't in anybody's gym this week and my body is not pleased.

4. Take some quiet time just for me each day this week. I find it very hard to just sit still and I find that I end up expending energy when I just need to be still.

I have to say that even though I slid of the rails a bit this week, I still continued to take the stairs at work and got all of my water in each day. This journey is about admitting our shortcomings, but giving ourselves credit, where credit is due. We have been too hard on ourselves for too long and we have be okay with living in the grey areas instead of things always being black or white.

Okay, I now have my marching orders. I am going to stay in my bed and finish my drink, maybe take a wee nap, and then arise refreshed, renewed, and ready to face the week. This week will be better than last week because I will be armed with a plan and a positive attitude...or at least a plan :).

Guiding Myself Back To Where I Need to Be

On May 1st, I started wearing my retainer again. I know you are thinking that this has nothing to do with the journey or weight loss, but let me explain.

When I was younger my parents spent a lot of money, time and effort to get my teeth straight and close the gap between my top two teeth. First, there were the braces and the countless hours spent taking me to the orthodontist to get them tightened, taking me to the dentist to make sure the area around the braces were clean, the constant reminders about not chewing gum (one of my main vices) or eating anything that could potentially break a bracket. Plus, we haven't even talked about the fat checks they wrote to pay for my straight teeth. After all of the pain and suffering, I had beautifully straight teeth. All I had to do was wear my retainers. Well, at first I was really good. I wore them every night and my teeth stayed straight. As time went on, I started slacking with the retainers. I would forget every now and then. Then I would forget for weeks on end. When I put retainers in on May 1st, I think it had been a good 3 months since my teeth had even seen a retainer. Needless to say, I woke up on May 2nd with sore mouth and the thought, "why didn't I just keep wearing these darn things. It would have been much easier."

For me, my weight loss journey is much like wearing my retainer. I know that it is something I need to do in order to keep my body straight and free from the diabetes and heart disease that runs rampant in my family. When I put my mind to it, I know I can do it and I always start off strong. Then, life gets in the way and I will stop going to the gym for a few days, or eat whatever it is that I know will start my descent into being totally off the Weight Watchers track. Before I know it, I haven't been to the gym in ages and have eaten every greasy, processed thing that I can get my hands on.

Which brings us to May 1. On that day I started fresh and decided that I would do what needed to be done to get healthy. I know that I am not meant to be a size 4, but I know that I can get to a point where I can walk up a flight of stairs without feeling like I am going to pass out and not dread going shopping with my thin friends. Just like my retainer is guiding my teeth back into the place where they need to be, I am going to use this year to guide my mind, body and spirit back where it needs to be (and get healthy along the way.)

This week I really focused on trying to achieve small goals. I vowed that I would start taking the stairs at work more often, make it to two spinning classes, and take my vitamins every day. I was able to do everything I set out to do and even though I was up 1.6 pounds when I weighed in at Weight Watchers (WW) on Saturday, I couldn't even be mad because I had non-scale victories that I was happy about. I know that every week is not going to be roses, sunshine and unicorns, but I know that I have to keep on keepin' on because if not, I have given up and that is not how I roll.

I am so excited about this journey. I know that I am not going to like everything we do, but I am going to try new things and live to tell the tale about it. I am going to really immerse myself and soak up all of the stuff these experiences have to teach me and hopefully, come out better for it in the end. I might lose a ton of weight, I might not lose any, but I know that I will be a healthier more centered person when this is over. Hold on y'all, it is about be a wild and crazy ride!

Thoughts: Getting healthy is like wearing your retainer- at first it will hurt and you will be sore and salty about it. As time goes by it will get easier and pretty soon, it will be a habit. You just have to stick with it through the pain and soreness because it is totally worth it in the end.

Taming the Beast

This journey is about body and spirit. We have decided to make a commitment to our bodies by recommitting to the Weight Watchers program. One main aspect of WW’s is counting Points. This week I worked the program and thus there were results, a 4.4lbs lost. I’m super excited, but I know that consistency matters. Each and every day, a million times a day, I must make the decision to count the Points, exercise, drink water, and track. However, many faithful Weight Watchers have a day off.
This Saturday after weighing-in,  I simply wanted to eat. I wanted to eat everything that was sweet, sultry and salty. The food beast wanted to roam free and eat everything that was “tamed” this week. I must confess that I caved a little. I had a couple slices of pizza, brownie bites, McDonald nuggets and ice cream cone. Agh. This is not the way to go!!

With each and every bite of food today I was reminded that real weight loss is not about restrictions, limits and taming. It is truly about making choices; making the choice with each and every bite to live a better and healthier life. My food choices today left me tired and sluggish. My stomach and my body felt the “junk.” Today, again, I was reminded that the food I choose to eat needs to fuel my body, not feed my emotions.

Tomorrow I will wake up, eat a healthy, balanced breakfast and track every bite. I will pack snacks to help me make it through a long work day. I will carefully vet my lunch options and come home tomorrow night and eat a healthy dinner. That’s the way it must be…I have no other real choice.

T. Time Thought: I don’t wear shoes that hurt my feet, so why do I eat foods that hurt my heart? Uhm…

Living a Life of Purpose

In 2002, one of the most popular books of this generation hit the market. Rick Warren’s “Purpose Driven Life” became the most discussed, preached on and studied book of the decade. It also led to the onslaught of “purpose driven” products and slogans. I bought the book and my pastor led a Bible study focused on the book, but I wasn’t impressed.


From a young age I always believed that my life had purpose. I’m not certain where it came from, but as a little girl, I always had a sense that I mattered. I didn’t come from a rich family, I wasn’t cute (especially by Southern Mississippi standards), but I possessed a confidence in myself, in life and most importantly, in God. So it’s no surprise that when this wildly popular book hit the market, the “search” for purpose seemed odd. Therefore, one could only imagine the sense of worry and hopelessness that overcame me when I found myself lacking and questioning my purpose last fall.

In October 2009 I found myself tired and overworked. Every weekend was packed with obligations and achieving the work/life balanced seemed impossible. Not only did this lead to stress, headaches and weight gain, but it led to a sense of hopelessness. However, on Saturday May 1st I felt the flame of purpose grow brighter. I felt the hope, deep desire and excitement that only purpose can give.

On May 1st, I embarked on a life changing journey. I will share parts of this journey with you as I travel the road to wholeness. I’m thankful to my friend Nana who, without question, decided to take the journey too. So here we go…are you buckled in?

T. Time Thought: What in your life gives you hope and fills your heart with desire? Get excited about your purpose!